Friday, January 16, 2009

I want the cheapest attorney and best representation

Sorry.  That statement is an oxymoron.  The two cannot co-exist.  If you are reading this post and "shopping around" for the cheapest attorney then stop reading... close out your browser... open the phone book... close your eyes... and randomly pick 3 attorneys to represent you on your OUI/DWI/DUI charge.  I guarantee that one of them is a dump truck lawyer.  What is a dump truck lawyer?  A dump truck lawyer takes your case for a seemingly "reasonable fee"... maybe $2000 or less.  They will tell you they know the prosecutor.  They will tell you they know how to negotiate a good deal.  They will tell you not to worry... and then they're going to do nothing with your case.  If you're lucky, they might read the police report but don't count on it.  Suddenly, docket call is tomorrow and you're set to meet with your Dump Truck Lawyer the next day.  You see him at court and he tells you how bad your case is... "you have a .13% BAC... you look bad on SFSTs and the cop says he saw 6 clues on HGN... there's nothing wrong with the Intoxilyzer (he really doesn't know b/c he doesn't understand how it actually works and never bothered to undertake the time and expense to get certified on the machine)... you look bad on video" and so on and so forth.  Then he tells you that he got you a NO JAIL OUI and how grateful you should be.  Great.  Thanks.  A lot.  He did about as good a job as you would have if you had just gone to your arraignment and pled yourself guilty.

I'm not a Dump Truck Lawyer.  I try cases.  I'm trying a .13% BAC in front of a jury next week.  I also don't charge $2,000 for OUIs... no matter how simple you might think the case really is... because in reality, no OUI ever ends up being simple.  If you want to know how much my fees are to handle an OUI then read this post real carefully... our fees at NIELSEN & BLY range from $3500 - $10,000 depending on the nature of the crime, number of charges, complexity of the case, novelty of the defense, likelihood of trial and finally, how much time I believe it will take to investigate, craft a defense and ultimately try the case.

If you're looking for a Dump Truck Lawyer, don't call me.  I'm not interested in pleading you guilty at arraignment.